their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
