This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I need to sanitize my soul.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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