and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
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