dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
i want to swaddle you in tequila
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
