Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
