I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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