so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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