I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
