just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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