FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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