I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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