the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
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