I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize