By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
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