The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
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I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
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That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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