I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
