Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
