I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I should be sponsored by Trojan
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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