im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
dude. I can hear the air.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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