Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
