your room smells of hookers.
And success
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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