Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize