I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
