I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
