I just saw a hot homeless man
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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