seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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