Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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