dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
