I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
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