Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
it's like heaven, but drunker
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after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
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THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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