I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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