There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
