I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
