I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
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We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
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its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
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