My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
