Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
