You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I have demons in me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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