Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
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We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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