Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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