drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
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