I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize