you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
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