dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Randomize
