Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
