my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
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