so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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