we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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