Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
