I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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