Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
