Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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