The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just puked most of my soul out..
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