All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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