You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
