went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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