i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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