OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Randomize
