I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
