i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
But break dance skills will only take you so far
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
